Thursday, July 20, 2017

Best Friend Breakups

Why do friendship breakup? How do people who could tell each other their biggest secrets suddenly hate talking to each other? 

Friendships are a complicated thing, but one thing is for certain, without them we would all be miserable. C.S Lewis once said, "Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art... It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things that give value to survival." 

People weren't made to go through life alone. In the garden of Eden, Adam had Eve. Jesus had his twelve disciples. David had Johnathan. We lose our friends all the time. Why you might ask? I think we have a few big problems when it comes to losing friends. 

  1. We get overly offended. Friends make mistakes, but part of being friends is forgiving, but also knowing when we need to be forgiven. We can hold grudges or false opinions over the stupidest of things. When our friends make mistakes that tends to be all that we see. I think we forget what it's like being the one asking for forgiveness. We breakup friendship over things that don't even matter. I think we're all guilty of being blinded by one mistake that our friend made and we can't even see the mistakes that we made. When I was little, there was this girl who is one of the nicest people that I know, but I would never talk to her. Want to know why? You can laugh, I won't get offended, but keep in mind I was like five. She had a birthmark of her cheek and for whatever reason I didn't like it. I had my one friend and I didn't need to be nice to anyone else. I was a mean girl when I was younger. I eventually did talk to this girl. We were at Taekwondo camp at our church, and she got me to talk to her because: A) there weren't that many girls there, and B) she bribed me with string cheese. I consider that girl one of my best friends now, and we still hang out  a lot. Mostly we laugh at each other being stupid. When I'm around her, I laugh more in one day than I usually do in one week. The point is that we all have a story of ourselves being mean. Maybe you weren't as mean as I was, but there are times in all of our lives that we do things to our friends we aren't proud of. Remember your mean self next time you want to get overly offended by a friend's actions. 
  2. Lack of communication. Ever notice how the little things bother us the most? We don't bring it up because we don't want to bother our friend over something so trivial, so it sits there like a dormant volcano getting bigger and bigger until... Kaboom! You have an explosion on your hands. This minor issue is now a huge fight because you let it continue to grow and become a huge problem. You have to bring up your worries to your friend. remember they are your friend no matter how small it seems. If it's important to you it should be important to your friend.    
  3.  We try to have too many friends. You can't have a good relationship with 500 people. To have a real friendship you have to really get to know someone. We lose our friends because we have so many that it doesn't seem like a loss. "Oh you don't want to be my friend, well I have 500 others; I don't need you." A true friend takes time to get to know you. I have a friend that I have known for as long as I can remember, and I still learn new things about her. As people change, friendships change. They take time and effort, the kind of time that can't be divided between that many people. One of my favorite examples of a true friend is Samwise Gamgee from my favorite movie series, the Lord of the Rings. Frodo yelled at him and he trusted Gollum (a creature conspiring to kill him),over Sam. Frodo even sent him back home and he still went on after his friend. At the end when Frodo has used the last of his strength, Sam carried him the rest of the way. He was there when Frodo needed him most. So I ask, do you want 500 Facebook friends or one Samwise Gamgee?

Until Next Time,